A catcher's mitt tastes like chicken
What better place to start than July 24, 2004? The Red Sox and the Yankees, with the perfect foil being Alex Rodriquez. A-Rod could have become a member of these Boston Red Sox if the money and union had cooperated; we could have enjoyed towering home runs, a truckload of RBI, Madonna and Alex doing stupid stuff.
The Sox were well behind the Yankees in the AL East, and I am sure they fully remember the disastrous playoff in 2003 as a Tim Wakefield knuckleball went into the bleachers at Yankee Stadium. Down by three runs, Bronson Arroyo nailed "Slappy" with a slow curve, and A-Rod had a major butt hurt. Soon, that hurt would expand.
A-Rod started to yammer away at catcher Jason Varitek about Arroyo's ability to find the correct area on the plate. Do you argue with someone wearing a mask and built like the Hulk? Varitek shoved his mitt into the yaw of Rodriquez, and the on-field riot erupted.
The player scrum headed towards me in Section 10 near the right field foul ball, but the section remained an island of pacifism despite several Yankee fans in the area, including one next to me. He remarked that Boston is renowned for excellent medical facilities, and he hopes not to test that out.
When the pandemonium settled down, players ejected, fans threatening anything in pinstripes, and the local constables on high alert, the game continued. The Red Sox settled the matter with a fantastic 11-10 comeback win toasting Mariano Rivera.