10 grievances against the Boston Red Sox in honor of Seinfeld holiday Festivus
For many people, the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day is the most wonderful time of the year.
For those unfamiliar, the holiday is the brainchild of the 90s sitcom Seinfeld. On December 18, 1997, the episode “The Strike” introduced the world to Festivus, the day before Christmas Eve, when the Constanza family gathers together to eat meatloaf and air grievances. In lieu of a Christmas tree, a plain aluminum pole, because tinsel is distracting.
“You gather your family around and tell them ALL THE WAYS THEY HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU OVER THE PAST YEAR.”Frank Constanza (Jerry Stiller)
In the 25 years since the episode first aired, Festivus has become a worldwide celebration of the show and a day to do as the Constanzas do. There’s a book, a company that sells Festivus Poles, and Seinfeld is campaigning to have it recognized as an official holiday. Unsurprisingly, the day is always observed by sports fans, eager to air their grievances with their beloved, infuriating teams. Sometimes, various MLB accounts join in; Mr. Met has even threatened to air his grievances if fans don’t help with the campaign.
Air your grievances.
— MLB (@MLB) December 23, 2019
What team do you hate losing to? pic.twitter.com/YjHZjPso6X
On Festivus, fans air grievances with Boston Red Sox
MLB Network aired their grievances on Friday, and the Red Sox were heavily featured:
Hello Newman! In honor of Festivus, @MelanieLynneN @Xavier_Scruggs and I aired some grievances on @MLBNetwork’s #MLBTonight https://t.co/MUXYSjTywL
— Mark Feinsand (@Feinsand) December 23, 2022
On this Christmas Eve Eve, it’s a Festivus for
the rest of us
Red Sox Nation! Here are 10 grievances to air:
1. Xander Bogaerts
Looking forward to seeing how the ship sails without its captain.
2. Rafael Devers
Pay him.
3. Mookie Betts
Yes, still. Always. Forever.
4. Ticket Prices
Raising ticket prices while throwing away homegrown stars who win championships? Again?
Fenway attendance in 2022 was the lowest it’s been in a normal 162-game season since 2000. Losing the best players for no legitimate reason will definitely turn that around in 2023.
5. Ballpark food
No veggie burger? There used to be a veggie burger. Also, a bottle of Dasani costing $7 is highway robbery.
6. No dogs at Fenway
The Triple-A WooSox have Bark in the Park, as do several major-league teams. Let Man’s Best Friend into America’s Most Beloved Ballpark.
7. Don Orsillo
Not over this, either.
Also, Jon Lester. Mailing Carlton Fisk’s contract a day past the deadline. Not making every player go to Johnny Pesky’s funeral in 2012.
8. Chaim Bloom
Please stop talking about Devers. If you’re not going to pay him, no one wants to hear more “we hope,” “he’s our top priority,” “we’re going to go above and beyond” stuff. You said all the same things about Bogaerts, and those words were emptier than Fenway will be next season if Devers isn’t extended.
9. The Yankees
George Costanza’s former employers paid Aaron Judge and the Sox didn’t pay Bogaerts and haven’t paid Devers. It’s embarrassing.
10. Rafael Devers again
Twice for emphasis.
