Boston Red Sox ace talk: A perpetual Black Friday

The Boston Red Sox endless talk of an ace is now approaching migraine territory for this observer.

Before the final curtain was pulled and the 2015 edition of the Boston Red Sox and they collectively slinked off to whatever off-season habitat would take their failure – arose the talk of an ace or is it Ace or, just maybe – ACE? That became an ongoing discussion well before the shift in administrations to Dave Dombrowski. At about this point, I could care less if they signed an ace or reanimated Jack Chesbro to take that anointed position. I now simply float into a semi-catatonic state with the mention of an ace. I have reached the Roberto Duran “No Mas” point of overload.

This has been a baseball “Groundhog Day” as I awake every morning to the various blogs (I plead – guilty!), newspaper articles, wasted internet ink and the endless talk show blather by the collection of talking beer bellies that pass as hosts – all with ace talk…and more talk. The paradigms of conformity. External solutions and internal solutions to the great mystery of the ace. I will now take an oath of ace abstinence until the choice is resolved. Even at that juncture I may continue to avoid until painfully dragged into an ace discussion.

I know all about the stats for David Price – 6-1 at Fenway – since I have memorized them. I have seen Zack Greinke discussed more than the latest Middle East troubles. I know about his medical issues, his fragile (supposedly) psyche and what he had for breakfast. And Johnny Cueto may have earned extra millions with a spectacular (finally) game in the World Series. All the exotic metrics that are about as manageable as solving the Goldbach Conjecture.

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Medical personnel use a pain scale of 1-10 to determine pain levels with ten being where you don’t want to be. A ten for me is a kidney stone, lecture from my wife and now another ace story. Fansided, Bleacher Report, Trade Rumors, SB Nation – et al have created a plague of articles similar to a plague of locust and no anorexic seagulls ready to save the day.

Virtually every player on the Red Sox has been packaged in the various trade scenarios for Sonny Gray, Chris Sale and an assorted list of others. I know I had Blake Swihart sent packing for several. Then there are all the aces who are not quite an ace – I had a list of them. I believe my favorite was Tyson Ross.

There are no more angles left as they have been covered as has every possible thread of a story line with about every known, invented or fantasized possibility explored. Every which way but loose, to borrow from Clint Eastwood.

So when will this happen? When will the insufferable torment of just when, how, who and how much will be settled and then the agony of analysis can begin? The blowback over the wrong guy or too much money or actually having a future HOF player sent packing – usually one who is in Single-A ball – as part of a trade package.

Like Black Friday, it apparently is a baseball version of shopping chaos and dysfunction. For me it is now sensory overload and just seeing another anything with the term “ace” somewhere I feel like taking a canoe ride on the waters of Lethe. Is there any possibility of an ace moratorium? If the president can pardon a turkey can the president also put a damper on ace talk? Damn the First Amendment!

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Anyways, the talk will certainly continue as greed will soon overcome common sense and millions will be spent on a player that – if history is any indicator – will be vastly over compensated – similar to a CEO of a company in bankruptcy getting millions for failure. Count on it. The ace we get will give a few good years and a few more bad years. Good for reflection articles in 2019 when all that praised will then deny.