News Flash: Carl Crawford Puts His Mouth Through a Rigorous Workout and Doesn’t Pull Up Lame

Feb 17, 2013; Glendale, AZ, USA; Los Angeles Dodgers left fielder Carl Crawford (25) poses for a picture during the Dodgers photo day at Camelback Ranch. Mandatory Credit: Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Apparently the only body part that’s working really well for Carl Crawford these days is his mouth. Obviously bored and angry because he’s having great difficulty playing baseball anymore, Crawford, in story published today by ESPN’s Gordon Edes, took pot shots at the Boston media, saying “They love it when you’re miserable.” Well Carl, now you know how you made us feel.

To be fair, Crawford made a few valid points but is saying that the Boston media feeding frenzy is brutal really a revelation? Did he not know this before signing? Crawford got paid $142 million dollars to leave the yacht and flamingo phonies in Tampa Bay behind to play in a real baseball town and it didn’t work out.

"Were fans and the media pissed, especially when it became evident that Ben Cherington and Theo Epstein knew about Crawford’s wrist injury and took a huge calculated risk anyway? You bet. Who did Crawford think was going to take the brunt of the criticism?"

“I get it, I didn’t perform,” Crawford  told Danny Knobler of CBSsports.com. “I got the money. I didn’t perform. I gave them every reason.” And therein lies Mr. Crawford’s singular moment of clarity and insight. OK, then shut up and take it like a man; take it like a professional baseball player instead of a whiny punk. We’re talking $142 million here. Get real. When I do a back of the envelope calculation, that’s approximately $139 million more than I’ll make in my lifetime, he’s still getting paid millions per year and he hasn’t produced a lick since 2010. NOW who’s pissed?

In 2011, the year after he took the money and ran to Boston, Crawford batted a career-low .255, stole just 18 bases after stealing 47 in 2010, and his OPS of .694 was his lowest since his first full season in the majors. He played in a total of 31 games in 2012.

Now he’s L.A.’s overpaid, injured pouty boy. Crawford and Los Angeles; they deserve one another. They’re both way less than one would expect once the promise of a good-looking package is stripped away.

Lost my shape-Trying to act casual! 
Can’t stop-I might end up in the hospital 
I’m changing my shape-I feel like an accident 
They’re back!-To explain their experience 
– Cross-eyed and Painless, Talking Heads 

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