Manny awaiting Cherington’s call for a Red Sox try-out…Will Red Sox give “Man-Ram” another chance?


YOU’RE Manny Ramirez and you are having a private conversation with that little voice in your head, whom you’ve called “Mini-Manny,” since he first started talking to you when you were about 12 years-old.

"HEADLINE:  WILL RED SOX GIVE MANNY ANOTHER CHANCE?“According to a report, Manny Ramirez will take another step in his own baseball reclamation project, beginning with plans to work out for teams later this month. There was no immediate word on which teams are interested in watching Ramirez work out.”"

MR: WTF? Nobody calls me? Do they think that woman’s hormone I took made me weaker? Have they all forgotten who I am; what I have done between the lines?

MM: They see you limited to being a DH…

MR: DH? Shooooot! I can still play the OF, maybe move to RF, where there are fewer balls hit and I can show off my arm

MM: You were always thinking about your next at-bat; you were not paying attention on defense; you look like you were jolted out of a daydream when a ball came at you.

MR: But, the one time I was innovative and hustling, they make fun of me

MM: Oh, yes, I recall it was July 21, 2004, 7th inning vs. Baltimore…You inexplicably raced over from left field to cut off CF Johnny Damon‘s cutoff throw to the infield. David Newhan had hit a shot off the wall and was speeding around the bases and, thanks to your extreme leap to snag Damon’s throw, Newhan ends up with an inside-the-park home run. Red Sox lose the game.

MR: Shoot, man…you remember everything! You sure I really leaped to cut it off?

MM: Join the 10,000-plus fans who watched your creative defense on You Tube:

MR: Man, you are cold!

MM: Just the facts, Man…

MR: OK, but the fans in Boston loved me and they need a Right-fielder and more offense; so how come no call from that Ben Sharington?

MM: That’s “Cherington” and he remembers when you in 2008, were involved in a dugout shoving match with teammate Kevin Youkilis and knocked down, Cherington’s friend, team Traveling Secretary Jack McCormick, 62, to the ground.

MR: Ah, man…the old dude just fell and he didn’t get hurt. Ah…like I said back then: “Me and Jack, our friendship is good and he’s going to continue being my friend yesterday, today, and tomorrow.” Besides, I told them that meat makes me angry.

MM: Then, maybe ask your friend, Mr. McCormick to write a recommendation letter to Mr.Cherington for you…So what meat did you eat on Sunday August 29th?

MR: Huh?

MM …Coors Field…6th inning, 6-0 Rockies…pinch-hitting…facing Matt Reynolds… first pitch of the at-bat…Ump Gary Cederstrom calls it a strike…you argue..Get thrown out by Cederstrom…You forgot you’re not allowed to argue with umps much about strike zone.

MR: Might have been those bad chili dogs before the game…But, like I told Torre, I did not say any curse words; Cederstrom had it in for me; it was a personality conflict; besides the pitch WAS low and outside; I’ve watched it on You Tube plenty of times; go see for yourself…

MM: Yeah, you watched it 24,474…I watched it once…OK, it WAS low and outside…

MR: See! So, why hasn’t Cherrytown called me for a workout at Fenway? That article about me being available for try-outs with teams has been out all day…

MM: You jaked it running to first…you played a lackluster left field with a water bottle in your back pocket… you frequently disappeared into Fenway Park’s Green Monster scoreboard during pitching changes and pissed on the wall of player signatures…You…

MR: Yeah…well…they treated me bad in Boston…no respect…

MM: Dec. 10, 2001, The Boston Globe: “Ramirez told the Sox he was “uncomfortable” during his first Boston season, prompting the team to expand the clubhouse and create a separate media interview room.”

MR: Yeah, but I’m talkin’ about respect here…

MM: OK, “respect.” Representing the Red Sox and providing a role model for all the kids…You missed the White House reception for the Red Sox 2007 World Series championship. President George W. Bush quipped: “I’m sorry [Ortiz’] running mate, Manny Ramirez, isn’t here. I guess his grandmother died again.” You got punked by George Bush! George Bush!

MR: Yeah, well, remember when Bush got the people of Texas to fund a new stadium and then he buys part of the team? And he’s dissin’ my grandma? I think Boston owes me a shot for all I did for them…

MM: Between the lines you were the best player in the game, on occasion, when you were in the mood and paying full attention. But, in July 2008, the day before you were traded to the Dodgers, you used the new media room that they build to make you “comfortable,” to say:

"“The Red Sox don’t deserve a player like me. During my years here I’ve seen how they have mistreated other great players when they didn’t want them to try to turn the fans against them.”"

MR: I said that?

MM: Yup! So maybe Cherington agrees with you: “A player like you doesn’t deserve the red socks…”

"[PHONE RINGS]MR: Hello? No kidding! Well, I’m free any day, any time… Tuesday at 1 o’clock? OK…I’ll be there! See you then! Later!MM: Red Sox?MR: My hair stylist…I forgot my appointment today…they re-scheduled…"


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