Ben Cherington and Doctor Mesmer

Dr, Franz Anton Mesmer was born  on May 23, 1734 in Moos, Baden-Wurttenberg, Germany. He became a physician and and also developed a significant interest in astronomy. In his latter years it was hypothesized that he  strayed from the mental beaten path. This is based in part on his theory  that there was an a natural energetic transfer between inanimate and animated objects.  He referred to it as animal magnetism. In the interest of decorum and respect for those who have gone before us, we might downgrade history’s prognosis to just plain weird.

His theories were never proven, but in 1842, a Scottish surgeon, James Braid,  eclectically harvested Dr. Mesmer’s theory and came up with hypnosis or mesmerism; so when you are mesmerized, God knows what you’re transferring to and from; so if you’re hypnotized as part of a magician’s show make sure your transferring has stopped before you leave the stage.

This sometime dark art is relevant to the instant discussion, as I am of the definite opinion that before he left, Theo Epstein mesmerized Ben Cherington into following a certain course of conduct; that course apparently dictated that Ben do nothing  about filling the gaping holes in the Red Sox lineup.

During the last several weeks, when the free agent and trade orchards were full of fruit ripe for the picking. The picking began and Brother Ben was basically stationary midst the flurry of activity in the orchards; now the orchards are as bare as Deseret  after the locusts left.  Now that the pickings have become increasingly slim, Ben has stirred. I am sure that Theo will call Ben up and make him cluck like a chicken as the final indignity.

This is the only rational explanation of Cheringon’s lethargy; he is under Theo’s spell. For example, during Ben’s deer in the headlights mesmerization, the likes of Heath Bell, Joe Nathan and Jonathan Broxton have been picked by others while Ben  looked on. I refer you to an excellent post written by Derek Stykalo, of Bosox Injection- Is Cherington Being Too Patent With Free Agents?  I don’t think it’s patience but rather a hangover from Theo’s spell.

The inside scoop says no deals are working now and we are waiting for the market to come to us. That might work if you want to a chance on a fifth string DH with one eye, but with the way the Sox finished last season, no player worth his salt is going running to us. We need to get out the wallet. Most of this is old news, but I merely wanted to show that there was a pseudo scientific  explanation for all of this. Ben was mesmerized. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

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