As the Red Sox announce the remaining order for their starting rotation and gear up for what is sure to be an exciting season in Boston, I thought it would be a good time to let loose have some fun. Since Boston=Irish and today is St. Patty’s Day, I put a spin on the weekly awards and brought in a little different shamrock and green flavor. It would be sacrilegious to not mention such a special drinking day. You can always tell when it is St. Patty’s Day in Boston because dozens of people were lined up outside a bar in downtown at 9am this morning. Nothing beats a properly poured Guinness at a real Irish Pub before noon, right? Well, for those of us that are luck-enough not to be working. Happy St. Patty’s Day, Enjoy (responsibly)!
The Most Likely to Spontaneously Break-out in an Irish Step Dance Award
This award just isn’t fair. It’s like giving a pig the Most Likely to Oink Award. Whenever he is home alone after a rough game, you know Pap crack’s open a Bud Light and step-dances across his living room. When he stays in hotels, they have to book him a room on the 1st floor so he doesn’t disturb the patrons in the room below him. If the Red Sox resign him for next season, he should start a new ritual of step-dancing his way from the bullpen to the pitcher’s mound. It may take a little longer, but I guarantee the crowd will be even more amped than normal, even on the road. He’s already got the ‘Shipping up to Boston’ playing on the sound system, at least treat the fans to a show as well. It was funny and painful to watch after the Red Sox won the 2007 World Series, like a train wreck you just can’t look away. After last season’s struggles, the least Pap can do is entertain us by doing the jig, if you can call it that. Fans are certainly hoping that Pap is dancing in November after the Sox have clinched another World Series title, but for now, we have to reminisce…
The Looks Most Like a Shamrock Award
Like the Irish Step Dancing award, this award is no contest. Just look at Pedroia. He’s the shortest guy on the Red Sox roster, listed at 5’9”. Really? Who do you think you are fooling Peddy? It’s a freaking joke. He’s probably 5’6”, maybe 5’7” on a good day, making him the obvious choice to be a shamrock. Besides size, shamrocks also have luck. Peddy fits that category as well. He is a talented player that gives 110% all the time, making it surprising he doesn’t get injured more often than he does. He dives at least a few times every game and runs the base paths like he has a snake chasing him. Don’t get me wrong, I want a player to have those qualities, but the amount of abuse he puts his body through is super-human. Peddy’s most shamrock moment? The day after he hurt his foot when he was fielding ground balls on his knees. He looked just like a little shamrock growing in the Fenway Park infield.
The Most Likely to Drink a Guinness in the Clubhouse After Thursday’s Game Award
Can’t you just see Youk walking into the clubhouse after Thursday’s game with the Mets, pulling up a chair, and cracking open a Guinness? He may not be Irish, but I would be willing to bet he could drink most of us under the table any day of the week. After a long hard day of getting mad at himself for swinging at a pitch slightly outside, Youk needs something to take the edge off. Why not an ice-cold, properly poured adult beverage? I just hope that he becomes a fun drunk and not an angry one, because can you just imagine Youk drunk and angry? Oh man, I wouldn’t want to be the bartender or a patron at the bar that night. Chairs would be thrown, tables would be flipped, and before you knew it, the Youk-Tornado would destroy the place. The good news? There are no real Irish Pubs in Fort Myers.
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