Nominations for 2012 Red Sox Interim Manager–Enter Fans’ lottery!
By Earl Nash
At the risk of being criticized for premature extrapolation, let’s get started on a list of candidates for 2012 Red Sox Interim Manager.
Let’s start with the most likely candidate; the only man who Bobby would admit is as smart as himself; a man who has had decades of experience running a baseball team in a large market; a former President/CEO of an AL and a NL franchise; a man who has the full confidence of owner John Henry.
Submitted for your approval: Red Sox CEO, “Lucky” Larry Lucchino.
No, wait! Didn’t you know that Ted’s son—without Ted’s knowledge—had Ted’s head cryonically frozen? There was even a book about how, in the future, they would thaw Ted’s head and attach it to the body of a young tennis player’s body; it was titled EXTRA INNINGS [by Bruce Spitzer].
Larry Lucchio, a big Ted fan, would immediately see the promotional possibilities:
Ted Williams’ Bobble head night; just the head; you can fill it with water and use it as an ice cube.
T-Shirts: An image of the frozen head and
"“Ted Williams…a head of his time.”"
Or, Ted’s back! Who’da thawed it!
Or, for the religious crowd: Saint Teddy…’Many are cold, but few are frozen.’
Or, photo of the head with a Yogi quote: “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over…”
"Or, Yaz!"
Sure, he’s 73, but he is fully recovered from his 2008, Yazstrzemski Triple Bypass heart surgery and was, coincidentally the last AL Triple Crown winner [1967].
Larry Lucchio, a big Yaz fan, would immediately see the promotional possibilities:
T-Shirts: An image of ’67 Yaz and
"“Red Sox World Series …Yaz We Can!”"
or “Red Sox World Series…
Not an Impossible Dream!”
From the official Yaz website:
“Carl Yastrzemski played 23 years with the Boston Red Sox. He is a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame, elected in 1989. Yastrzemski was selected to 17 All Star Games, won 7 Gold Gloves, achieved 3,419 Hits and 452 Home Runs and was the last player to win the Triple Crown which he did in 1967. His famous #8 has been retired by the Boston Red Sox and sits on top of Fenway Park.” http://www.yaz8.com/
Did you know that Yaz already works for the Red Sox? He’s a roving instructor.
Remember when Yazstrzemski officially retired after the 1983 season and took his memorable final lap around Fenway Park?
Imagine Larry Lucchino revealing the new Red Sox manager at the last game this season at Fenway…Larry says: “And, here he is…Carl Yazstremski!” And Yaz enters the field from the bullpen and takes a lap around the field.
During the lap, the scoreboard flashes “YAZ WE CAN!” and Larry leads the cheer.
Hey, no more chicken and beer fiascoes under Yaz; he can show this new generation how to handle their beer; you sit facing your locker—AFTER the game—and ignore the media people, until you have finished your Miller High Life.
And, say, Jacoby makes two errors in an inning in the OF; well, Yaz, former roving instructor, will sidle up to the kid and calmly explain how to avoid those errors in the future; Yaz doesn’t have a sarcastic bone in his body.
"Or, Captain Tek"
Another former Red Sox captain should also be in the mix: Jason Varitek. There’s a man who can communicate with pitchers like Aceves and Lester. And Tek isn’t going to take a team issue outside his office and blab it to Sports Illustrated, or WEEI; no, Tek is going to call the player in his office for a little chat; just one chat and then, that’s that! Hey bratty millionaire, how about a catcher’s mitt in your grill?
Or, here’s a sure way to make sure that the players don’t bitch about their manager: players rotate daily as interim manager. Would you love to see Pedroia arguing with an umpire? Would you love to see an umpire try to argue with Big Papi? Ellsbury may seem calm, but watch him take on an umpire; at least until the ump gets sarcastic.
OR, rotating Red Sox writers!
The gang here at BSI is ready and let’s get those golden Globe Boyz in on it: Peter ”Who’s Your Daddy” Abraham, Nick “F, not T” Cafardo, Michael “Lost” Vega and, of course, Dan “Inside Source” Shaughnessy; the Herald’s John “Tito” Tomase and MLB blogger Ian “Brownie” Brown. Add in the staff at our friendly competitor website, the Bleacher Report, and we have it covered. And, we can’t forget inveterate Red Sox fan, Doris Kearns Goodwin.
Imagine the fun when the Red Sox writers can criticize and second guess their peers!
OR, wait…
Who thinks they know more about how to manage the team than even the media? The fans!
How about a lottery to win one of 162 chances to “Manage The Red Sox For a Day”? If you are under 18 and win, you are required to bring along an adult to sit with you as your Bench Coach.
RULES: Sorry no special advantages for season ticket holders; Red Sox employees or relatives, current or former MLB players, managers, coaches, Presidents, CEOs, Owners, and General Managers may not participate. Current or former MLB umpires and Red Sox announcers are welcome, so are any living members of the Hall of Fame. Anyone named Tommy Lasorda is not allowed to play.
Nominations for 2012 Red Sox Interim Manager are now open!
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000