'They put animals to sleep, don't they?'--Suddenly seeking sayanora-- a humane ending for Valentine

This is like an HBO series, where the couple has reached the point of divorce; the wife has an appointment with a lawyer and the husband is looking for a place to rent.

It is past time for some kid in the Fenway crowd to stand up and yell:

“The Red Sox management and the manager have no clothes!”

Today the WEEI cartoon by Larry Johnson [below right], didn’t need to put the name “VALENTINE” on the sleeve.  That image has probably zipped from phone to laptop all over Red Sox Nation by now.

When your pal, the Red Sox CEO, who shoe-horned you into the job, refuses to comment on your status as manager, you don’t need to wait for the coroner; you just stop talking and lay down.

Any Red Sox scribe, beat writer, or blogger with an even weak sense of smell has already started to draft the “Why Valentine was the wrong choice for the Sox” article.  Do we need a list?

If Bobby up and quits, he will lose his contract money that runs through the 2013 season. Since even the management all know he is done, do they think it is humane to leave him staked down on mound covered with fire ants and surrounded by media on a prurient death watch, rather than ending the public torture?

But, while the management and the manager remain entangled in a deadlocked death spiral, the players are expected to “cowboy up” to avoid the dreaded 90-loss mark.  Or they could just go through the motions and hit the 100 loss mark by losing their remaining 27 games and over-write the 2011 September Swoon.

Unless Mr. Valentine is unveiling a secret “counter-logical” plan to win all 27 remaining games, it appears that he is begging to be fired by doing a dandy impression of Captain Queeg:

Asked how difficult the six-game losing streak has been on Sunday evening, a despondent Valentine just muttered:  “What difference does it make?”

  • When Pedroia questions Aceves judgment and a fight breaks out during a game, the manager just stands there with his hands in his pockets and lets the coaches deal with it.
  • He reinforced his reputation for being antagonistic to his players with the Youk Affair and his sarcasm was not a motivational inspiration for Ellsbury.
  • He lost Pedroia when Dustin stood up for Youkilis.
  • He failed to tell Aceves his plans for the closer role when Bailey returned.
  • His attitude toward the media has been borderline condescending from day one.
  • He broke a cardinal rule in baseball: he failed to be sure that each player understood his role:
  • “When Jose Iglesias and Ryan Lavarnway were called up, there was no indication Valentine had spoken either to Mike Aviles or Jarrod Saltalamacchia about how their respective roles might change.”  http://www.providencejournal.com/sports/red-sox/content/20120902-dead-manager-walking.ece
  • He is making it abundantly clear that he no longer gives a shit:

“Eyebrows were raised again Saturday night when Valentine wrote Scott Podsednik into the No. 3 hole in his lineup. Podsednik is a perfectly serviceable major-league player in the right role, but the fact that he’s barely hit more career home runs (42) than triples (41) is an indication he’s not a No. 3 hitter.

The reaction from Valentine when asked about the decision made as little sense as the decision itself.

“Just a mistake,” he deadpanned in such a way that it was hard to tell if he was joking. “Is that what it says on the lineup? What the (expletive). Switch it up. Who knows? Maybe it will look good. I haven’t seen it.” http://www.providencejournal.com/sports/red-sox/content/20120902-dead-manager-walking.ece

  • He sits erstwhile future Right fielder, Ryan Kalish, playing veterans Cody Ross and Scott Posednik.

The Red Sox owe it to the players and fans to put a merciful end to this death march to mile marker 162.

This week, the famously loquacious Valentine said to the media

“I really am sick of talking about that stuff. Thank you.”

The management needs to sit down, privately, with Mr. Valentine and work out the following press release:



We have met with Bobby Valentine and, we came to the unanimous conclusion that it is in the best interests of the team to turn the page.  For the remainder of the 2012 season [Earl Nash] will serve as interim-manager.

We all agree that Bobby did his best to win, but injuries and other circumstances that were beyond his control undermined his efforts.

We are grateful that Bobby persevered during a difficult year of transition and we wish him well in his future endeavors.

Mr. Cherington will coordinate the hiring process for a new manager.



Years from now, both the Red Sox and Mr. Valentine will use two words to explain why it did not work out:

                                                             “bad fit.”






Tags: Bobby Valentine Fired Resign

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