Red Sox fan’s letter to World Series champion Chicago Cubs fanbase

Nov 2, 2013; Boston, MA, USA; Boston police officer Steve Horgan poses for a photo inside of Fenway Park prior to the World Series parade and celebration for the Boston Red Sox. Mandatory Credit: Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports
Nov 2, 2013; Boston, MA, USA; Boston police officer Steve Horgan poses for a photo inside of Fenway Park prior to the World Series parade and celebration for the Boston Red Sox. Mandatory Credit: Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports /
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A letter from a lifelong Boston Red Sox fan to the fans of the Chicago Cubs. (P.S. Lifelong is not synonymous to one year and three months).

Dear Chicagoans who adhere to being Cubs fans:

Due to the recent success of the Chicago Cubs, let me begin by saying congratulations for beating the same team that my Boston Red Sox unfortunately could not beat in the 2016 ALDS.

Hats-off to ex-Red Sox players like David Ross, John Lackey, Anthony Rizzo, and Jon Lester. Hats-off to the Baseball Whisperer, Theo. Finally, hats-off to the young talent that brought you a World Series for the first time since Theodore Roosevelt was the President.

With that being said, unfortunately I have been in Arizona to witness the aftershock of four million jumping Portillo’s regulars. In a town where fourteen other teams share Spring Training with you, it seems as though you won’t stop until every soul that surrounds the Earth knows the Cubs finally won something. Rotten Tomatoes will disagree, but the Cubs winning the World Series is more painful than the series finale of Dexter.

Boston Red Sox
Boston Red Sox /

Boston Red Sox

Since a World Series was resurrected in “The City of Deep-Dish”, an unwarranted amount of White Sox hats with receipts from 2005 have been put back in their newly acquired storage lockers – once painted blue and red. As a member of BoSox Nation, I never thought that I would have a linear perspective to any facet of baseball with a Cardinals fan (with the exception of a storied franchise, a dependable fanbase regardless of wins and losses, and a resentment towards Albert for leaving in 2011). But the Red Birds and I now see eye-to-eye on a bitter attitude towards the Cubs and their fanbase.

Besides the fact that everybody from Chicago sounds similar to this, the “in your face” attitude that Cubs fans recently adopted is like a little brother finally getting to be first controller. Cubs fans just fail to realize that their 2017 season is just going to be a 162 game Pull Ups advertisement.  It’s not that I don’t respect you for finally winning, but the obnoxious way in which you are handling it makes it abundantly clear to baseball fans from MLB Network analysts to sorority girls, that you haven’t done this in a while.

If one parade wasn’t enough for some Grabowski’s wearing Kohl’s cargo shorts, eating hot dogs with tomatoes in them, and sucking down a Goose Island – a second parade during spring training would definitely hit the mark. That’s right, the Cubs threw a parade in Mesa, AZ to celebrate their forgotten fandom. Additionally, the Cubs decided that this year they would charge prices up to $85-$100 dollars for the chance to sit on grass and view their stars and prospects.

I just cannot respect a cop-out fanbase that has used Steve Bartman and a goat odor as leverage to back-up a 108 year old breadcrumb trail of infamous failure. The guy in the grey sweater and the four others diving for the foul ball that Alou admitted to not being able to catch, are still counting their blessings.

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After winning the series, Cubs fans hit social media looking to pardon Bartman for catching that foul ball. Like Bartman really wants an apology after thirteen years of hiding from a group of loud mouthed mid-westerners who are notorious for science project thick pizza crust, obesity, mandals, and Hamburger University. Don’t blame a foul ball on the fact you lost, blame the eight runs given up after the infamous foul ball, the Gonzalez error, and Kyle Farnsworth. By the way, the ’03 Marlins would eventually move on to the World Series and beat the Yankees (who showcased 6-7 potential H.O.F.’ers) in six games.

(The 2003 Marlins featured Pudge Rodriguez, Derek Lee, Juan Pierre, Luis Castillo, Mike Lowell, Miguel Cabrera, Brad Penny, AJ Burnett, Josh Beckett, Dontrelle Willis; the list goes on.)

I can honestly admit I have a greater displeasure right now for a National League counterpart than the pinstripers down the interstate. Until the Yankees do more than lick Wild Card birth for the last half of a decade, the Cubs are who I want to focus my attention on.

Save your breath New York. Aaron Judge, a dusty Matt Holliday, and the future sequel episode to Yasiel Puig (Gary Sanchez), are not the cure to playoff drought. I like to think Dombrowski and the rest of the Sox front office was thinking the same, in light of the offseason additions (e.g. Chris Sale & Mitch Moreland).

Personally I think Cashman was wrong; the Cubs are the Golden State Warriors of the MLB. A flashy group of hype-beast individuals who look to leave at the first sight of a more promising pay day. (Dexter Fowler and Chapman wouldn’t disagree). Coming from the same fanbase that has a “W” flag to remind them what winning finally feels like, I don’t need to hear a speech about why I have a lack thereof.

An older Cubs fan recently said to me “you say Cubs people like you aren’t one. How does it feel to be a loser?” In response, it feels great to be a member of a fanbase that had a decade long sellout streak and a laundry list of accolades along the way. It feels even more terrific to be one of many fans whose definitive meaning of life only exists within the “Chapel of Green”.

Next: Will Moreland be available for Opening Day

In the wise words of the last President to see the “bleacher bums” lift anything, Red Sox Nation advises you “Speak softly, and carry a big stick. You will go far”. The ball is in your court now Chicago, we look forward to seeing you in the Fall Classic.