All-Time Red Sox sloppy nine

The Red Sox have been fortunate enough to have an extensive list of star players though the years. Some notable names have been profiled in Sean Sylver’s article on the Red Sox all-time starting nine by using an exercise presented on Radio BDC which assigns dollars to selected players creating spending limit. I have bypassed that totally. Most of mine are Family Dollar specials.

I present for your enjoyment those players that through the years have left me with a lasting impression. For some it was just awful performance and for some it was the personality of a viper. Others provided comic relief in both performance and with quotes that would make your scratch your head in disbelief or chuckle. Sometimes both.

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This is obviously a short list. Each year it grows with many new additions.

My list does contain players that actually made all-star teams and in one instance a player who is enshrined in the Hall of Fame. Even stars have their moments.

OF – Israel Alcantara. Izzy is another one who attempted to “kick start” his career.

OF – Carl Everett. My two and one half-year old granddaughter loves to watch “Dinosaur Train.” I watch it with her and visions of Carl are brought up.

OF – Wily Mo Pena. What were they thinking? You traded who for this? Every GM makes mistakes, but Wily Mo was the baseball Enron of mistakes.

C – Haywood Sullivan. You thought he was bad in management? You should have seen him catch.

1B – Dick Stuart. Stuart use to sign his autograph Dick “66” Stuart in recognition of once hitting 66 home runs in the minors. I have never seen someone so incapable of playing defense at first base.

2B – Felix Mantilla. Felix hit 30 home runs one season. Trouble is Felix had, to be polite, certain liabilities defensively.

3B – Butch Hobson. Hobson had the nickname of “Butcher Hobson”among the third base fans for a reason. Forty-three errors in ’78. Just awful.

SS – Don Buddin. Actually made an All Star team. Amazing! License plate should read E-6.

DH – Manny Ramirez. Everyone has Manny stories. Some are funny. Some are bizarre. Some are sad.

Bench

Julio Lugo. I have no idea why Sox management seemed to just have the baseball hots for this guy? Lugo was one player where the numbers never did him justice. He was always worse than the slash line. Julio “The Yugo” Lugo.

Carl Yastrzemski. Huh? Sometimes a manager will have a really, really good idea and then a really, really bad idea. Yaz at third was bad. In 1973 Carl was placed at third for some games. In one game I was at Carl made a routine play into an adventure. A fan tossed out a kid’s glove painted gold. Yaz just broke up as did everyone else.

Eddie Bressoud. Eddie teamed with Felix for quite possibly the most atrocious DP combo I have ever seen in Boston. Eddie covered about as much ground as a postage stamp.

Mike Lansing. Lansing did nothing for Boston. Rumor is he spent most of his time whining.

Jose Offerman. His post Red Sox career explains a lot about Offerman.

P – Julian Tavarez. Whenever I hear the musical line “I get a kick out of you” I think of Tavarez.

P – Billy Muffett. Only because of a great quote. Muffett once reported his biggest issue was losing one run games: “10-9, 9-8, 11-10….” Gotta love that.

P – John Wasdin. “Way Back Wasdin” tells the whole story.

P – Jack Lamabe. Some pitchers are not made for Fenway and that was true with “Old Tomato Face.” Seemed every time I saw him pitch at Fenway he got hammered. Maybe some pitchers are not made for any parks?

P – Ike Delock. Delock once pitched a shutout and was reported to have said “That’ll keep me in the rotation a month.”

P – Byung-Hyun Kim. First time I saw this submariner pitch I thought I was watching woman’s softball, but then I realized the women threw harder.

P – Roger Moret. You get points for going catatonic on the mound.

P – Oil Can Boyd. “Can” was not speaking about Diet “Coke.” Love to see him in the booth for some games.

P – Heathcliff Slocumb. The idea is to close out the game for YOUR team and not the OTHER team.

P – Frank Castillo. How did he ever win six games in 2002? Guess he had experience since he once led NL in losses. A pitching pinata.

P – Alfredo Aceves. “Conduct detrimental to the team.” That was after several incidents. Perfect fit for New York.

Manager – Bobby Valentine. The Japanese love Bobby and the French love Jerry Lewis. No accounting for taste.