Have you noticed that on Sports Talk radio the majority of the callers sound like morons.
To improve the quality of the callers’ prattle, let’s give them 12 rules.
- Do not open with “What’s up, guys?”
- Don’t be lame by saying “longtime listener, first time caller.”
- You have 30 seconds to get it out; as Jim Rome says: “Have a take and don’t suck.”
- You get one question or one opinion.
- We don’t want to hear your best “brush with fame” story.
- If you are driving, pull over; two tasks at once will overwhelm your brain.
- Don’t get maudlin and pathetic with nostalgia.
- Never use this phrase “really sucks.”
- Never use the word “incredible.”
- Never use the word “awesome.”
- Take your answer off the air.
You can help improve the quality of calls to Sports Talk radio by reading these rules to as many of these cretins as you can tolerate.
We assume that, since they cannot speak coherently, the also cannot read.