My Former Valentine, Larry's Pal--once the "Smartest Man in Baseball"

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Did you miss this story here back in mid-April?

April 17th, 2012 at 11:24 pm by Earl Nash

You’re Bobby Valentine and you know you’re “cooked”

You’re Bobby Valentine and you know that once a lobster squirms through that small hole in the trap, he cannot reverse course; his fate is sealed. As a self-proclaimed gourmet chef, you know how to cook a lobster, proper.

Yet, you chose to dance on the rim of the pot of boiling water with the self-proclaimed self-awareness that one mis-step would mean you were doomed to land “in hot water” and, within fifteen minutes, you had to know that you would be “cooked.”

You’re Bobby Valentine and you must know that the cover has been placed over the pot and that not a single  Red Sox fan in New England can hear your voice anymore; the citizens of Red Sox Nation can only hear that familiar desperate scratching sound.

Up “they-yah” and Down East, folks know that, to people “from away,” it sounds like a scream when the lobster hits boiling water. But, Sox fans in New England know, the lobster isn’t screaming; it’s just the sound of air, expanding as it heats, that last gasp of hot air rushing from the heedless lobster’s body.



Right after the All-Star game, did you know that we declare your team dead?

July 23rd, 2012 at 3:19 pm by Earl Nash

Red Sox Declared Dead: 3:28 PM…EST…July 22nd…

“I’m calling it…3:28 PM…EST…July 22nd…

The frustrated surgeon snaps off the gloves and the nurse covers the patient’s head and Red Sox hat with a white sheet.

R.I.P. Boston Red Sox, 2012.”



Did you read this one in mid-August about the Red Sox organizational culture of mistrust?

Aug 14th, 2012 at 1:54 pm by Earl Nash

Taking back the Red Sox: FULL TEXT…Parts 1 through 6

Does manager Valentine trust GM Cherington?

Does GM Cherington trust the CEO’s pal manager Valentine?

Do the players trust manager Valentine?



Remember this one 4 days later?

Aug 18th, 2012 at 5:52 pm by Earl Nash

“Fear & Loathing” in Sox Management… National Harpoon’s Sox Summer Vacation!…in search of “Wa”?

Despite the fact that his pal Larry did not support him when the malcontent players, the rabid fans, and the media commentators began to heat up the tar, lift the rail, and opened the bags of feathers and that his boss, the GM, took the side of the players against him, Bobby was dismayed by the way things ended.



Is this the day that you finally checked out on the team?

Sept. 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Earl Nash

The Day Valentine gave up on the Red Sox: Sept. 2nd

Just after his diffident, indifferent crew of malcontents was swept by the swashbuckling gang of overachievers in Oakland, Valentine had run out of sunshine; he had been fighting on, long after the crew had replaced the Jolly Roger with his white bed sheet.

The whirling dervish of optimism ran out of spin, wobbled in the visitors’ clubhouse in Oakland that day and fell over like a child’s top, surrendering to the inexorable drag of gravity.

The man with the permanent smile, which now masked a bitterness born of betrayal, recognized that “all the King’s horses and all the King’s men” and not even he, Baba Valentine the Great, could reassemble this rotten egg.

He had to admit that, even when he was the manager, when indifference rules a team:

“What difference does it make?”



Remember John Henry struggling to find a way to tell you that you were “Dead Man Walking”?

Sept. 3rd, 2012 at 12:46 pm by Earl Nash

‘They put animals to sleep, don’t they?’–Suddenly seeking sayonara– a humane ending for Valentine

When your pal, the Red Sox CEO, who shoe-horned you into the job, refuses to comment on your status as manager, you don’t need to wait for the coroner; you just stop talking and lay down.



When did it occur to you that you allowed yourself–the Smartest Man In Baseball–to get talked into taking the manager’s job by your pal, who believes he is the Smartest Man In Baseball?

Sept. 5th, 2012 at 2:58 pm by Earl Nash

 A brief history of the “Impossible Team”

Possibly someday, Bobby Valentine will be joyfully preparing a gourmet Japanese dinner for two in his kitchen in Connecticut, while a lobster taps its farewell death dance, and Bobby sings along with the Dylan song on the oldies’ station:

‘Everybody said they’d stand behind me
When the game got rough
But the joke was on me
There was nobody even there to call my bluff…”

And, his wife enters the kitchen and Bobby says:

“It will be ready in about five minutes…You know, I still can’t figure out how I let Larry talk me into taking that job…”



Remember that awkward breakfast with team Owner, John Henry?

Sept.  7th, 2012 at 5:42 pm by Earl Nash

 “You’re John Henry” and you worked out a Gentleman’s Agreement with Mr. Valentine, privately

You’re John W. Henry and you are driven by a desire to minimize chaos; but you made a big mistake:  you let your CEO, “Richelieu” Lucchino, talk you into hiring “Mr. Excitement,” “Blabby” Valentine, to bring order to your team.

You rationally concluded it was time and that you were the one, who needed have a man-to-man talk with Mr. Valentine to reach a “gentleman’s agreement” for the most-graceful-possible landing for your team’s Kamikaze death spiral.


How did you feel when you pal, Larry, distanced himself from you, the disaster that he caused?  How he pulled the old “Bobby WHO?” crap and ran away from you like a bachelor from a baby with soiled diapers?

Oct. 9, 2012, by Earl Nash

Lucchino, man who “runs the Red Sox” seeks to run away from his disasters…Not So Fast, Larry!

With the dismissal of Valentine this week, everyone in the Front Office, including Lucchino, recognized that Bobby was absolutely the wrong fit for the 2012 Red Sox; he was such a bad match for a modern MLB team that Lucchino was willing to pay Valentine off, giving him the $2.5 million for NOT managing the Red Sox anymore.

Yet, attempting to “move right along” at the “Sox Fire Valentine” press conference, Lucchino said:

“If you’re going to look at factors that contributed to the dismal season of the Boston Red Sox in 2012,

“…the nature of the managerial search in November of 2011 is pretty far down the list, if it’s even on the list at all’”


Were you amused to see that your pal Larry–the Smartest Man In Baseball–was, once again, controlling the hiring process for your replacement?

Oct. 22, 2012, by Earl Nash

“Dog & Phony” Mgr. Search…Once again, Larry got his “Boy,” Players welcome Farrell’s return

For the second year in a row Lucchino was running the process to assure that the new manager would be someone he could control; this completes the Lucky Lucchino Trifecta: he controls the owner, the GM, and the field manager.

For the second year in a row the Red Sox will open their season with Larry Lucchino “running the team.”


But, this is your day, Bobby Valentine and we won’t cry for you Valentina.

You may be right; maybe you ARE the Smartest Man In Baseball, since you got the CEO of the Red Sox, your former bosom buddy, who believes he is the Smartest Man In Baseball to pay you $2.5 million this year to NOT be his Valentine.  <3  XXX









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